after watching "Six Feet Under"

I hate how TV shows can bring up emotions in me. I don't know.. it's like I had this great relationship, but that ended years ago. And my mistake was trying to hang on to it. I let him back into my life, but this time it was doomed. Part of me knew it. Nothing was the same. It's my fault for thinking it could be. For wanting him so much.

(no subject)

I just want to live. Since October 4, 1996, I haven't, really. Some of it is not being able to and some.. some is my own fear. Why do you think most of my posts are about books and movies and television? The last time I felt real and vital and alive I was with Bill. I guess that's what I'm missing..something that happened years ago.

I'm lonely and I'm scared. Get in line, right?