![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
honeymonsterI have got to DO SOMETHING.
Way too much brooding lately.
And the fact that the tenth anniversary of getting hit by a car is coming up is not helping at all. YES, I realize it's not until the fall. No, it doesn't help.
How have I been coping with this exile from people and life and crap for so long? Not sure, exactly, but I think it has something to do with cats and books.
But the real thing, of course, is denial. And refusal to think very far ahead. When someone tries to get me to come up with long-term goals, I shut down. I can't think about the future, because I have no future. It's too easy to be disappointed. I'm sick of all this shit, and if I think about it I'll just cry all the time until I decide it's time to die.
So I don't plan much.
Yeah, this may sound melodramatic. How would you cope in my situation?
Way too much brooding lately.
And the fact that the tenth anniversary of getting hit by a car is coming up is not helping at all. YES, I realize it's not until the fall. No, it doesn't help.
How have I been coping with this exile from people and life and crap for so long? Not sure, exactly, but I think it has something to do with cats and books.
But the real thing, of course, is denial. And refusal to think very far ahead. When someone tries to get me to come up with long-term goals, I shut down. I can't think about the future, because I have no future. It's too easy to be disappointed. I'm sick of all this shit, and if I think about it I'll just cry all the time until I decide it's time to die.
So I don't plan much.
Yeah, this may sound melodramatic. How would you cope in my situation?
