I would like, if I may..

[honeymonster]

To share this passage by Gahan Wilson which I especially love:

Good old, mean old Carl was the greatest drink pourer in the world. He used drinks like other types of sadists used whips. He kept beating you with them until you dropped or sobbed or went mad, and he enjoyed every step of the process.

And that, ladies and gents, is how you write a fucking descriptive paragraph.