the Joe Bob Report (highlights)
Jun. 14th, 2003 03:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
honeymonsterEmployees at the Nasiriyah hospital where Private Jessica Lynch was treated say they shielded her from the Iraqi army for eight days, that she hid beneath her sheets during gunfire eruptions, that her limb fractures were probably caused by a vehicle accident, that she had no bullet wounds, that she had no stab wounds, that she got immediate emergency surgery as soon as she was brought in, that doctors and nurses donated two pints of blood that she needed, that two nurses stayed with her 24 hours a day, that the hospital protected her from an Iraqi intelligence officer who wanted to transfer her, that she was never slapped by an Iraqi officer or abused in any other way, that there was no resistance to U.S. troops who came to get her, and that the American troops could have simply walked through the front door instead of knocking out the building's power, blowing out windows, detaining staff members, handcuffing civilians, and holding the hospital's assistant manager in captivity for two days. Obviously these people don't know the first thing about western medicine.
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Gay employees at the Justice Department--now there's a concept--were denied permission to hold their annual gay pride event at Justice headquarters in Washington, the first time a gay assembly has been blocked by a federal agency. Since the mid- 1990s the event has been held in the Department's Great Hall, but Justice insiders said that John Ashcroft recently found out that the employees weren't just gay, they were actually doing disgusting things with their wingwangs and himminyhominas.
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The City Council of Arcata, California, made it a crime to cooperate with the Patriot Act. Asked for his reaction, John Ashcroft said, "Damn hippies."
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Scenes from our secure republic:
* New York's Pennsylvania Station, busiest passenger terminal in the nation, was evacuated as police investigated a "suspicious passenger" on a train arriving from Washington. A trained dog smelled something suspicious in the man's belongings, but a search revealed nothing. The terminal reopened, but the man disappeared into the immigration prisons. Obviously a case of Amtraking While Swarthy.
--http://www.joebobbriggs.com/
*
Gay employees at the Justice Department--now there's a concept--were denied permission to hold their annual gay pride event at Justice headquarters in Washington, the first time a gay assembly has been blocked by a federal agency. Since the mid- 1990s the event has been held in the Department's Great Hall, but Justice insiders said that John Ashcroft recently found out that the employees weren't just gay, they were actually doing disgusting things with their wingwangs and himminyhominas.
*
The City Council of Arcata, California, made it a crime to cooperate with the Patriot Act. Asked for his reaction, John Ashcroft said, "Damn hippies."
*
Scenes from our secure republic:
* New York's Pennsylvania Station, busiest passenger terminal in the nation, was evacuated as police investigated a "suspicious passenger" on a train arriving from Washington. A trained dog smelled something suspicious in the man's belongings, but a search revealed nothing. The terminal reopened, but the man disappeared into the immigration prisons. Obviously a case of Amtraking While Swarthy.
--http://www.joebobbriggs.com/
