Build your own Santa letter.
Dec. 11th, 2002 12:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
honeymonsterFrom here.
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Jeffrey's Christmas party. It was Donny who spiked the punch with too much Coke. I can't help it if I drank 60 glasses. It was so good--- smelled and tasted just like cinnamon.
I thought it was funny when I put Sammy's shirt on my head and danced the the funky chicken on the sofa while singing `Straight Outta Compton'. I didn't mean to break Jeffrey's pager and don't know why Jeffrey would sue me for vandalism.
I don't remember calling Pete's wife a squishy cow---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and green lipstick!
And when I threw up on Cindi's husband's leg, it was only because I ate too much of that pumpkin pie.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my scooter through my neighbor's roof. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a tasty frog and have me arrested for public exposure!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all lusty and vulgar. And I'm really not to blame for any of this cute stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and sprightly yours,
Honey (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 42 bucks!
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Jeffrey's Christmas party. It was Donny who spiked the punch with too much Coke. I can't help it if I drank 60 glasses. It was so good--- smelled and tasted just like cinnamon.
I thought it was funny when I put Sammy's shirt on my head and danced the the funky chicken on the sofa while singing `Straight Outta Compton'. I didn't mean to break Jeffrey's pager and don't know why Jeffrey would sue me for vandalism.
I don't remember calling Pete's wife a squishy cow---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and green lipstick!
And when I threw up on Cindi's husband's leg, it was only because I ate too much of that pumpkin pie.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my scooter through my neighbor's roof. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a tasty frog and have me arrested for public exposure!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all lusty and vulgar. And I'm really not to blame for any of this cute stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and sprightly yours,
Honey (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 42 bucks!
