but it's too soon to ask me for the words I want carved on my tomb

[honeymonster]

*air guitar*

So.. in the shower, and then afterward, struggling with my bra and clothing, I got to thinking about the complications in my life these days.. and lit on one I haven't really let myself consider.

My sex life. If I ever have one again.
I am now lj-cutting for people (i_shit_jesus) who don't want to think about me having sex.

I really haven't needed to think about this. Last time I had sex was about a week before the car hit me. And my last boyfriend or whatever wasn't exactly easily accessed.

But damn.

I have one heavily scarred-up, fucked-up knee. Also a swollen and painful shin right under it. I have an elbow on the same side that can't straighten all the way OR support weight.

This pretty much rules out all casual sex, as there would be too much explaining to do (not that I really like that sort of thing anyway). It also rules out the squeamish.

I bet there are lots of tattooed and pierced people out there who are thoroughly grossed out by any unintentional injury.

Not to mention the actual logistics of the act. Maybe I should feel grateful for looking like this, at least I don't have to worry about it. But of course that's bullshit.

I want to lose weight, and I want to be desired, and I want to have sex. Mmm.. sex.

But there is so much to worry about on top of the normal shit now..