Time to flip the calendar..

Today is my daddy's birthday. That means.. cake! Goddamn, I'm tired.

By the way, saying oh my god or goddamn isn't taking god's name in vain, because where the hell is it written that its name is God? In christianity we don't even know the name, and in judaism you're only allowed to use it when you pray. So this idea is something made up by very strange people.

fractured fairy tale

FAIRY TALE

nce upon a time there was a young PORN STAR named FRED. He was ICKILY HUMPING in the GROTESQUE forest when he met SWIFT GARY, a run-away BUM from the DRIPPY Queen GOOBER.

FRED could see that SWIFT GARY was hungry so he reached into his TIN and give him his SLIMY PIE. SWIFT GARY was thankful for FRED's PIE, so he told FRED a very FUZZY story about Queen GOOBER's daughter ANNIE. How her mother, the DRIPPY Queen GOOBER, kept her locked away in a SHACK protected by a gigantic FROG, because ANNIE was so FEARSOME.

FRED RAN. He vowed to SWIFT GARY the BUM that he would save the FEARSOME ANNIE. He would EAT the FROG, and take ANNIE far away from her eveil mother, the DRIPPY Queen GOOBER, and FLEE her.

Then, all of the sudden, there was a YUMMY EARTHQUAKE and SWIFT GARY the BUM began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic FROG from his story. DRIPPY Queen GOOBER SUNG out from behind a PEN and struck FRED dead. In the far off SHACK you could hear a WOOSH.

THE END.

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