all watched over by machines of loving grace

Update

Thu, 15 Jun 2023 11:29:54 GMT

Sorry I haven't posted in so long. Not much super important has happened, I guess. My lease got renegotiated. Next month, rent will be 2 bucks less than it was when I signed the first lease. That's because the utility allowance went up over the winter.

Oh, and I finally got a sofa! It's more of a loveseat, but I can sit on it with my legs straight out, and Freddy likes to snuggle with me while I sit on it, so $200 well spent.

Lots of pictures & things about my day-to day stuff (not super personal) at https://theahole.tumblr.com/ If you look around a bit, you can find my lists I made from my old book journals, and see how many books we have in common. Lots of cat pictures and shots of things I've cooked or baked.

Yesterday I tried to get my roommate in a carrier so I could take him to the vet. He wouldn't go, and also he made me bleed. I learned that catnip & treats only go so far, and I need a bigger carrier too.

Luckily, I was forgiven. I think. I don't think he pissed on the bathroom floor on purpose this morning, though I can't be sure.

Hanging out with Steve on Fridays now. We try to watch some crappy movies, occasionally sit through a crappy movie, and sometimes even find something good. He helps me by taking things to the dumpster or putting together furniture for me. I feed him. He turned 45 last month, which is too old for my little brother to be.

Today I'm gonna bake strawberry chocolate-chip muffins and eat leftovers and hang out watching Father Brown with my cat. I am poor--how do I rate such luxury?

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My roommate keeps fighting with somebody else's roommate through the window

Mon, 05 Dec 2022 01:20:24 GMT

My Roku TV has a Great British Bake Off Channel with a bunch of stuff I haven't seen. Spent this afternoon in front of it when I wasn't cooking or baking. Trying new recipes appears to be my main hobby lately. Today I did muffins from a Sesame Street baking cookbook and an individual meatloaf from another cookbook. The muffins were great, but the meatloaf would have been very dry if I hadn't cut 20 minutes off the baking time. I'm finding that a lot of the recipes I try need some sort of fixing. Kind of a pan in the ass.

I moved my statues off the windowsill, so Freddy hasn't broken anything else. He does have a habit of licking plastic, which I find disturbing. He's a weird little guy and I love him a lot.

He's very food motivated, though. I've heard him trying to open the cabinet I keep the dry cat food in and it makes me very happy about the toddler lock I put on there. I'm wondering if all cats start yelling at you an hour before dinner time, or just the ones I've known most recently?

I have to get my gift packages in order this week.

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Been a hell of a week

Wed, 23 Nov 2022 23:08:04 GMT

Last Wednesday I was on the phone with Steve when we got cut off. Problem with my phone service again, which is super weird, because I've got the free cell service plan they will give you when you are poor. They apparently couldn't deal with it in text messages, so I had to drive to Rona's the next day to use her phone. It took about half an hour and two separate guys to fix it. I'm told this shouldn't happen next month, but we'll see..

About an hour after I got home I got a text message that one of the charges on my debit card had been rejected. Did I make this charge? NO the fuck I didn't. So I clicked the number they sent. The lady on the other end was very helpful.They'd send me a new card, it should arrive in December. Oh no. Oh, and the other charge I'd noticed that I also hadn't made? She'd file a complaint for me.

I'm so glad they noticed something because if the one they texted me about had also gone through, I'd be out of money. Entirely.

Friday I had Steve over! We watched a bad movie and played with the cat. It was a good time.

Saturday I had Pete over for dinner. The food was good! Freddy avoided him.

Sunday I slept a lot.

Monday, therapy, grocery shopping, quick visit with Rona.

I was in bed reading with the cat Monday night when I heard a weird noise. Freddy heard it too. A rapid pattering. So I got up and turned on the hallway light, which was a mistake. Water was pouring out of it. Just water. Out of the light fixture, onto the carpet. I dumped my recycling out of the plastic bin I keep it in and put that under the light. I thought something had happened to my neighbor upstairs, the loud one. So I called 911. The lady on the other end reminded me that the light shouldn't be on, and I should probably leave because it was dangerous. So I sat out front for like a minute. A cop showed up and I let him into my apartment. He scared Freddy. I had to wait outside again while he checked on the apartment upstairs. Nothing wrong there. Three firemen came into my apartment. They couldn't figure out what was going on, though they did figure out how to turn off the power to my whole apartment. They're the ones who told me to call the apartment manager's number. Of course he wasn't there, but there was a message that told me to push zero if there was a maintenance emergency, which I think this qualified as.

So about five minutes after the firemen left, a maintenance guy I'd never met showed up. Apparently he was a temp and didn't know the building, and since the water seemed to have stopped by then, he'd come back in the morning.

In the morning, about an hour before he said he'd be there, he knocked on my door. Apparently there was a clog and an overflow in the bathroom of an apartment on the THIRD floor. And that's where the water came from. He put my light fixture back together. The end.

Yesterday I slept all day.

Today I made a pumpkin pie for the first time in years, and this time I made my own crust!

Oh, and my new debit card arrived.

I have to go feed the cat and make some soup now.

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My roommate scratched me twice today..

Mon, 14 Nov 2022 23:51:36 GMT

I can tell Freddy is getting more comfortable here because last week he climbed up on the fridge and ripped one of the bags of dry food I bought open. Later on he threw up.

Last night while I was asleep he broke into the cabinet where i stashed both bags of food, knocked the other one on the floor, and ripped it open. This time he didn't throw up, though.

And he's escaped into the hallway airlock 3 times. Twice today! That's kind of worrisome..

Sorta worried what he'll do when I'm out all afternoon tomorrow.

On the other hand, whenever I lay down in bed with the covers over me he curls up on my thighs and takes a nap.

Cats, man..

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Cat

Sat, 05 Nov 2022 09:48:28 GMT

Freddy has pretty much stopped hiding under the bed now. He splits his time in the bedroom between the wicker cat bed and my bed. He likes to play with the catnip mouse I got him. He begs for food ALL THE TIME. I have to push him off the kitchen counter at least 3 times a day. My bathroom door won't shut all the way, so he likes to waltz in there while I'm on the toilet & ask for attention.

My tumblr blog is becoming a cat blog. I love him so much. He's doing so well after less than a week!

P.S. I put cat treats & Honey treats on my amazon wish list--but don't feel obligated, both of us are eating well.

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I don't speak cat, man..

Sun, 30 Oct 2022 03:50:44 GMT

My aunt and uncle wanted to rehome their cat because he was not getting along with the dogs and not getting enough attention. And I wanted a cat. So, long story short, there's a cat sitting in my living room where I can't reach him and making strange noises. He's very nervous right now and I already love him so much. His name is Freddy.

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moving right along

Sun, 23 Oct 2022 00:11:35 GMT

Yesterday, I brought Steve over to my apartment. I showed him some old drawings our niece did when she was a lot younger, some old photos, plus the Anti-Coloring Book he'd filled out when he was a kid.

Steve moved another bin into my storage unit for me, and we framed some more art and he hung it on my walls where I asked him to.

I made grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. Bulletin boards were discussed, and it was decided that we'd trash two of the ones I had (the ones that looked the worst), and hang the last one. However, there was no visible way to hang that one, so it was whole thing. I have a bulletin board on the wall by my desk now, anyway.

Also we tried to watch a couple of bad movies. But they were too bad.

Steve doesn't usually agree to hang out with me every week, but he's been really out of sorts since he lost his job.

I say lost, but it's not like he got fired or anything. The boss just came and said he'd sold the company and it was Steve's last day. Which was, you'll agree, pretty fucking shitty. So it's cool that I get to hang out with my brother more, but the reason sucks.

Today I had someone coming over for dinner, so I made sure I got up at one so I could bake a little pumpkin cake for dessert.

It turned out well, I just gotta figure out what to do with the rest of this can of pumpkin..

I also made a casserole that turned out really well. Because I'm fucking awesome.

Goodnight.

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Inspection over!

Fri, 14 Oct 2022 00:03:40 GMT

Steve came over on Saturday and helped me with moving stuff to my storage unit, and getting the last of the boxes out of my apartment. We also moved things around. But my storage unit's hasp was broken, with a lock on it that wasn't mine, so we could only move empty plastic bins in there.

Tuesday I went into the apartment manager's office and dropped off my letter from the psychologist about getting an emotional support animal. While there, I mentioned that my storage unit was still unusable. He said he would text the maintenance guy. I drove to my parking space, hauled 2 bottles of water & my groceries into the apartment with my little cart that does stairs, and put my groceries away and went to the bathroom. The maintenance guy knocked on my door before I was done in the bathroom. Everything was fixed! I went out and got the other 2 bottles of water & my recycling bin out of the car.

So Wednesday I drove out to get Steve again. We framed the art prints I had frames for, and hung the ones he had nails for. We went through my bin of toys and figurines and so on, and picked the ones to display. Then we moved some bins of stuff that I wasn't going to use right away into the storage locker, which I then locked. Later we unboxed my Vash the Stampede action figure he gave me like 20 years ago & put it on display, The box went into my storage locker, but it wouldn't fit in a bin, so we had to kind of display it to show it was empty. (the doors of the storage units are jut wood and chicken wire.)

We also ate food I cooked & watched about half of a bad horror movie. Steve also took out my trash and recycling for me, which I appreciated greatly.

This morning I woke up at like 12:30. Later I ate breakfast, showered, and cleaned both sinks & the toilet. Then I went back to bed and got about 2 hours of sleep.

Between 10:30 & 11 the apartment manager showed up with the maintenance guy (I have to find out his name at some point, right?) and a lady I'd never seen before. The rooms were given a cursory going-over and a verdict of "much better" was delivered. The apartment manager said he liked my toys. The lady thanked me for all my hard work, so at least she knew it wasn't easy. Then they left.

I called Steve and my stepmother, and then went back to bed. I forgot to eat lunch.

I woke up around 5 in the afternoon, and went to make this for dinner. It's the second time I've made it, but I subbed a different cheese for the swiss each time (don't like swiss) so it tasted different. I also add a teaspoon of garlic powder. Anyway, that was good, but it wasn't until I was in front of the computer again that I remembered I had an amazon package that was supposed to be delivered. There is a picture of it in front of an unidentified door, but it is not in front of MY door. Goddammit.

Anyway, I'm out of money for this month, so I have to get back to putting used books and stuff in one of my etsy stores.

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I really am very lucky

Mon, 03 Oct 2022 05:59:11 GMT

I've had so much help with everything. Steve came over on Saturday and pretty much did everything for me. I cooked lunch, but that's about it.

My books are finally shelved. There's even a little extra space! You can see a photo of the last bookshelf here. I did this one in reverse, to make it heavy on the bottom so the shelf wouldn't tip. I was afraid I might have to get rid of all my Dr. Seuss. Still have a lot of work to get done, but I'm pretty sure I can do it.

Also last night I tried all of the tricks I read about for improving box-mix brownies on one box of mix. They turned out amazing! Froze most of them so I would eat them more slowly.

Been really freaking tired lately, but even so, I can only sleep for a few hours at a time. This is a severe pain in the ass.

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Hi, I'm awake!

Sat, 01 Oct 2022 11:03:11 GMT

I got maybe 3 hours of sleep, so it's a good thing I slept a lot yesterday, because today I have Plans.

My two new bookshelves are here, and now I need to put them together. I've enlisted my brother Steve to help me. So I gotta go get him this morning and bring him back here. The nice thing is that it's a shorter drive than it used to be, so I'm on the road for less time.

In addition to building the shelves, I need help clearing out the cardboard boxes I've emptied, plus help getting everything I want to donate into the trunk of my car. I can't believe how many extra copies of books I've found. Just yesterday, 2 copies of The Glass Menagerie turned up. I had 3 copies of my favorite book, and I only need 2. I can sell some of the extras, but others are either very common or needed to be thrown away.

All of my missing book boxes have been found! I think. There were 3, not 2, which messed up my shelving a bit. Now none of "S" fits on the last shelf I filled. I tried to leave some space for expansion, but one of my favorite writers writes at least 4 books a year, and that doesn't count pen names.

Oh well, I'm doing the best I can.

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buzz buzz

Wed, 21 Sep 2022 10:01:37 GMT

As you know, I'm still not fully unpacked because of the price of shelving and its scarcity in thrift stores, plus the problem of transporting fully assembled bookshelves.

This all came to a head a week ago, when I got home from buying a really neat corner bookshelf to a letter from the apartment manager saying that all of my boxes and book stacks were a fire hazard and I had to get it cleaned up in a month. So I had my stepmother buy me two expensive, sturdy-looking shelves from Amazon, and one shows up tomorrow, one a week later. I'm going to need help assembling the damn things, obviously.

In the mean time, my stepbrother enlisted his friends to bring my new bookshelf here on Saturday, but it turned out to be so tall they had to cut a foot off the top to get it in the door. So. Now my new bookshelf wears its top as a hat.

I've been working on this really hard, and now I have most of my books shelved: Anthologies, then A through most of Dr. Seuss. But there are at least 2 boxes of books in my big mess of cardboard boxes-- this may screw everything up. I'm down to 2 bins of books sorted by letter, if not exactly alphabetized yet. Also I have a lot of cookbooks, which I want to put on a shelf near the kitchen. Looks like the rest of my not-cookbooks will go under them.

The only things I really don't know what to do with are all of my extra craft supplies I'm not willing to part with. Probably gonna have to get rid of some stuff anyway, like my small bin full of little bottles of puffy paint. I've only ever used one of them, someone sent it to me. The duct tape can still be useful though, gotta hang on to that.

To relax I bake, and to drown out the Yelling Lady when I'm working in the living room I put on Roku's all-Doctor-Who channel.

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that sinking feeling

Fri, 26 Aug 2022 03:21:58 GMT

So my kitchen sink started backing up twice in the past 2 weeks. I thought it was because I fed the garbage disposal apple cores. It seemed to manage strawberry hulls fine.

But today I learned that my garbage disposal is not for disposing of garbage. It is apparently a growly electric thing which just lives in my sink for some reason. This blows because I was so happy not to have to sit and peel things over a garbage can.

Also while the maintenance man was in to fix it, the pipes started leaking, and he had to replace the garbage disposal, which made no goddamn sense to me.

Then again, what does?

Trying to get used to my new keyboard. The one that came with my computer was crappy, the keys kept sticking.

My living room is still a welter of boxes and bins, but the kitchen, bedroom and bathroom are fairly well sorted out. The "urgent" pile on my TBR shelf keeps growing though..

Having this problem where I can only sleep for 3 hours in a row, except in the middle of the day. This would not be a problem if that wasn't when all of my appointments are..

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hot damn

Wed, 10 Aug 2022 19:57:42 GMT

My brother gave me two t-shirts he designed for my birthday. His tweet with the images is here. They are severely awesome. Also he made some really delicious baked ziti for me, and I got to take the leftovers home! I had baked ziti for breakfast & dinner 2 days in a row.

AND he gave me the recipe!

I really made out like a bandit this year.

Finally got some bookcases, but not enough, and now my living room is even more of a mess and I have at least 2 book boxes missing in the piles somewhere.

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She's a Birthday Girl. She kills without reason.

Fri, 05 Aug 2022 03:06:06 GMT

I made it another year!

Today I barely got any sleep. I got up early and made brownies. This is how I found out the Kitchen Aid mixer I inherited from my dad doesn't work.

While the brownies were cooling, I left. I delivered a package to the post office (just down the street) and then went to a nearby thrift store full of books. After I shopped for more than an hour I went to my favorite restaurant, which is down near where Rona lives, and had french fries. I also got a pizza to go so I didn't have to cook dinner.

I went to Rona's house and there was a big package full of cooking stuff addressed to me, from a total sweetie. Then I went home and had a birthday brownie & got a birthday phone call from my brother. Then MY amazon package arrived. And then I took a birthday nap.

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so tired

Fri, 29 Jul 2022 21:13:48 GMT

Did a lot of stuff this afternoon, and now I own a car & pay car insurance.

The lady upstairs both frightens & annoys me.

Still need bookshelves & a sofa.

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more updates

Thu, 28 Jul 2022 02:30:42 GMT

I set up my own digital TV! I also put in the digital antenna (though the TV has roku so I'm not sure if I even need it) and hooked up the DVD player! Feeling very competent today.

I do have a headache though. The Yelling Lady was really freaking out tonight.

Trouble sleeping again.

Also having a lot of trouble finding the bookshelves I need. Everything is too expensive and/or built wrong. Tried some thrift stores, but I guess they were the wrong thrift stores because they did not have any shelves. Though I DID get a very cute frog lamp I don't need and have no place to put.

I love having my own kitchen. I've made blueberry muffins 3 times now and this morning I had 3-grain pancakes. Oh, here's a picture of my TBR bookcase. I've since added two stacks on the bottom, one in front of the other.

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stuff about my new place

Fri, 22 Jul 2022 02:49:43 GMT

I was looking for one last box of kitchen stuff which the movers hid from me amid all my other boxes. It was filled with stuff wrapped in newspaper, and I thought my plates were in it. I'd been living off plastic plates from the $1.25 store. These plates are very thin, and one had already cracked on me. After much moving, lifting, and heaving, I found the box I wanted, plus the missing floor lamp. I was excited!

Inside the missing box I found: one pretty but definitively broken teapot. One soup tureen (for the donate pile). One gravy boat that matched the soup tureen. Eight matching small bowls with little handles on either side, also in the same pattern. And one (one!) plate. Same pattern.

I could have gone to the thrift stores for more plates, but I wanted something I could use in the microwave, and I didn't want to lose a new bowl AND the food in it because the bowl wasn't made for microwaves.

My new dishes showed up yesterday. So did my microwave! They are great. The dishes are huge and heavy and purple! The microwave is smallish and black! The bowl did not break when I made oatmeal in it in the microwave!

I am still not set, furniture-wise, but I love living on my own. I've never done this before and it's great. I've already made blueberry muffins twice! I used different recipes! I still have blueberries so I can tweak the first recipe! I'm going to cook and bake tomorrow!

The only catch is The Yelling Lady, but I knew there had to be a catch.

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oog

Sat, 16 Jul 2022 21:18:18 GMT

I'm finally living in my new apartment, and I have had so many barriers to moving that it doesn't bear thinking about..

First, the moving guys found the remnants of our bedbug infestation from 5 years ago and understandably freaked out. They refused to load any more stuff in the truck, and they left the garage door wide open and my box spring leaning against the generator. The only furniture they took was two metal bookshelves.

So all I had at the apartment was my new mattress, two bookshelves, and a whole lot of boxes. If I wanted to sit, I had to put the toilet lid down.

I had to sleep on Rona's sofa for a week. Commuting back and forth was not just a pain in the ass, it was expensive. Gas prices, you know.

Finally on Wednesday my stepbrother Pete brought my bedframe and box spring over. I had been slowly bringing stuff over all week, so that's when I started to get settled in. Today one of Pete's friends came over and moved in my desk, computer, and most of my other stuff, including 3 chairs. There are a few other things to get here, like my kitchen/craft/TV table, but at least my bedroom is mostly ready now.

It took me 5 hours to get the new wi-fi working though.

Once I get my kitchen stuff washed, it's time to start buying bookshelves so I can start emptying boxes.

Also I need a vacuum cleaner and a digital TV..

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Okay! So!

Tue, 05 Jul 2022 20:45:10 GMT

I'm moving tomorrow morning, so I'm boxing up my computer tonight.

Having a hell of a time trying to get my electricity connected. Just a severe pain in the ass.

Anyway, see you on the other side of getting my internet hooked up!

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so much to do..

Sun, 03 Jul 2022 03:54:59 GMT

I still have some trash to clean out of the attic, but I thought an update was in order.

I've signed the lease and will be moving on Wednesday. I've updated the amazon wishlist address. I've already moved a lamp and my dish rack into the apartment, and I've already fallen off the step after the landing. I'm so nervous that I'm going to forget something important. Everything is new now.

I'm having problems sleeping, though. I go to bed and wake up 2 hours later. And when I go to bed in the morning, my stepmother always winds up waking me up, because she's in a lot of pain and lets out a little scream with each step. So that's fun.

My car's battery died again. They think it was a short in the dome light. I've had two cars, and the dome light had to be disabled in both of them. It's fixed now, though, so that's one less thing I have to worry about.

In the weird situation where I'm surrounded by books but having trouble finding something to read.

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oh yeah..

Mon, 13 Jun 2022 21:22:51 GMT

STILL haven't found my car keys..

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dagnabbit

Mon, 13 Jun 2022 21:15:54 GMT

So I thought I was signing my lease on the 15th, and I was in a big fucking hurry to get everything packed, including going through all of the shit I had in the attic. I managed, too. In less than a week (with some help) I got all the boxes PLUS things I wanted to donate out of the attic & organized. There's still a little bit to move, but most of it is done.

Then Rona called me into her office today and told me that she'd talked to the apartment manager, the air conditioning was broken and the lease signing had been pushed to the 30th.

This is great in a way, I have more time to pack stuff and not fuck anything up. But I went through all that work, in the wee hours of the morning so I wouldn't get heat stroke, and for what?

I have many bruises & 2 scraped fingers and dirt that won't come out from under my fingernails.

Oh, and I found out what happens when you leave sugar in a bin that isn't air tight in an attic for 30 years, but that would have happened anyway.

The good news is, I discovered chocolate oatmeal! The bad news is, I got the last two boxes at the dollar store and it isn't sold anywhere else.

I guess I'm going to give the attic a rest for a couple days. Tomorrow me & my peer counselor are gonna donate all the stuff I have piled up in the living room. Well, most of it? Looks like we have more time now.

You should see the mound of bags of books I have piled up near the front door. The walkway is very narrow.

Books, DVDs and CDs go to the library, everything else goes to a thrift store.

I ache all over. But at least I have CPAP equipment again! Part of my mask broke and I was without it for almost 3 weeks.

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gah

Tue, 31 May 2022 16:24:48 GMT

Hi! Um.. I just spent the last 3 or 4 days sorting stickers into categories for selling them, and I am just stickered the fuck out. I know i shouldn't have let them just pile up for years like that, but I never seemed to have the time to do anything about it.

You see, you can buy a pack of 50 stickers for a lot less than it costs to buy about 2 individually. So I bought packs of stickers, sorted through for the ones I wanted to keep, and put the others aside. This was fine back when I had the podcast guys also going through them and taking what THEY wanted. But we haven't done that since covid hit. So i just had them all over the fucking living room. Hundreds of sticker packs. Thousands of stickers. Also there were like three bags full in the attic. It was really frustrating how many packs I had ordered more than once. I had to throw a lot away.

But it's done now. They're all categorized and bagged and in 2 boxed marked "SELL."

Packing is taking forever, because I have many physical problems. Also, every time I think I'm done packing something, like books or DVDs, another one pops up. The attic is going to be a gigantic pain in the ass for many reasons.

Sorry if none of this makes sense. I've been awake since 11:30 last night, and it's nearly 12:30 PM now, and I can't thought very well.

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monthly update?

Thu, 19 May 2022 06:29:39 GMT

Hi, tomorrow is my colonoscopy, so I'm not supposed to eat anything all day, just drink clear fluids. In preparation for this, I bought a two-liter of ginger ale last week.. and my stepbrother drank most of it. I can tell it's just gonna be that kind of day.

I have been packing and getting rid of things I don't want. My peer counselor helped me donate a LOT of books to the library and some clothes to a thrift store. However, I still have boxes and boxes of books. And I still have to go through the living room, attic and garage. At 47 you have way more belongings than you did when you were 18.

I put some stuff I need on my amazon wishlist.. most of it I don't need until I've moved, but at least I know what I want and can get it whenever. I still need to find a kitchen table and chairs, plus a new mattress because I've been sleeping on the one the cat peed on the day she died. And once I've moved I need to think about a sofa.. Bleah, moving is a pain in the ass and I haven't even really started yet.

Plus I'm gonna be in a pissy mood all day because no food and no ginger ale.

Umm.. good news.. I have lots of support and I've read a lot of good books this year.

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stuff.. and things. Stuffy things.

Mon, 25 Apr 2022 22:24:49 GMT

Half my pants are falling off me. Rona keeps saying that's a good thing, and I'm like, no it's not! Now I have to buy new pants! How can you not see that is a bad thing! Losing weight is expensive, it turns out.

So I finally (after like 3 years) hit the top of the list for government housing and may be moving to an apartment in June. There is a lot to do before then and I am silently panicking. Also I've never lived alone in my life. But this is another reason I'm stressed about the clothing thing. No money.

Oh, and next month I have to have a colonoscopy. Man, do I know how to party.

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